These are cliff notes from an episode of The Unmistakable Creative Podcast
This is an inspiring conversation full of excellent stories and examples of how to become unapologetically ourselves. Srini is joined by Miki Agrawal, entrepreneur and the author of the book Disrupt-Her. Below are my favorite ideas from this episode, but I strongly recommend listening because there is a TON more.
1. Miki gave a great example of Whole Foods to demonstrate the importance of meeting people where they are. The owner of Whole Foods was vegan and imam the beginning, sold only vegan products. The company almost went bankrupt. Then they added more options (all high-quality) and revenues and the number of loyal customers grew. More importantly, more people become conscious of their food choices, which was the whole point. However, the approach that worked was not aggressive but rather meeting people where they are ultimately worked.
2. We are all participating in patriarchy, whether we like it on not. Miki said that she considers herself a feminist, yet she still dyes her hair and takes care of her physical appearance or wants her partner to open the door for her, which may seem contradictory to the idea of feminism. We are all carrying various social conditioning and that is what makes the system run in its current form.
3. Facing stubborn patterns and prejudices with empathy and humor are way more effective than trying to change them with judgment and hate. We may not be able to change persistent cliches overnight but it is worth trying, being soft and coming back again. These things take time.
4. Women often put pressure on their partners to provide financially; Miki claims that those pressures show a scarcity attitude and state of panic. First, we have to embrace the idea of providing for ourselves as well as relaxing, which is where live, creativity and abundance comes from.
5. We were taught that we have to know the answers to multiple life questions and that provokes anxiety. When we embrace the idea of uncertainty being an only certain thing, we can experience life from so much more relaxed place and be happy.
6. We are in our minds more often than not and we neglect how much wisdom our bodies have. Also, we are upset that our bodies do not match to the beauty standards and often actively want our bodies to be different. Miki describes her newly found love with her entire body after a meditation experience, which helped her heal a long-term hormonal problem, which shows the capability of self-love.
7. We are all haters sometimes but when that happens, we can catch ourselves and redirect our thoughts. Our hate is ultimately always projected towards ourselves. When we love ourselves, all things in our life start to fall into place.
7. Trying to change someone’s attitude is like trying to change the weather: futile. Instead, what works much better is trying to do different things yourself and let others see your example. If an activity impacts you positively, others will notice and want to try. Also, when we do things we truly want and pursue our dreams, we are becoming fulfilled and we give others permission to do the same.
9. Miki gives the example of her husband making beautiful yearbooks with all of their memories for that year. When they get into arguments, they have those yearbooks to weigh against every little disagreement. That way, they have some perspective from which to discuss, hear the other person, forgive, and keep the relationship fresh.
10. To be unmistakable, according to Miki, you have to give yourself full and unadulterated permission to be yourself and give no shit about what everybody thinks